why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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