so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize