on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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