You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
