There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
