hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
