He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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