dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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