uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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