It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
