Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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