I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
