super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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