Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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