btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
