Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
