Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
