Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize