Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
