You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
