do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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