I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
