I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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