you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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