Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
