idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
