It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
