Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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