wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
