we have officially lost it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
