Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize