Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
