quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
