If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
