dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
