So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
