Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
