I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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