I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
