Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
