Well douche your snatch and let's go!
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
