Umm I'm too high to move.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize