goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize