found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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