Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
