Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
