I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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