every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you win again, gameday.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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