good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
