How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
