Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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