What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
