We're like a lot better than the average bears
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
