somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
