I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
