yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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