I wannas sexs uuuuu
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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