The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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