how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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