so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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