Your tits are I can't wait for
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
