If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize