everyone is single if you try hard enough
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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