I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize