David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
