Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
